Smelly Eddie and the room of "whores"

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0><script type="text/javascript" src="http://hb.lycos.com/hb.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://ratings.lycos.com/ratings/lycosRating.js.php"></script> <script type="text/javascript"><![CDATA[//><!]]></script> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://scripts.lycos.com/catman/init.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://members.tripod.com/adm/ad/code-start.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://members.tripod.com/adm/ad/code-middle.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://members.tripod.com/adm/ad/code-end.js"></script> <noscript> <img src="http://members.tripod.com/adm/img/common/ot_noscript.gif?rand=218388" alt="" width="1" height="1" />  <iframe frameborder="0" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" scrolling="no" width="728" height="90" src="http://ad.yieldmanager.com/st?ad_type=iframe&ad_size=728x90&section=209094"></iframe>  </noscript> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0><tr> <td valign="top" colspan=2 height=90 BGCOLOR="#CC9900" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="044005a0dwnjzk.gif"> <div> <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Scrumdig"><U><B>home</b></U></A><B>     | </b><B> </b><B> </b><B>  </b><FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#FFCC66" FACE="Arial" ><B>Scrumdig</b></FONT></div> <div> <A HREF="id36.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="People Shit (part 1)"><U><B>People = Shit (part 1)</b></U></A><B>   |   </b><A HREF="id37.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="People Shit (part 2)"><U><B>People = Shit (part 2)</b></U></A><B>   |   </b><A HREF="id38.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Random shit that bothers me but isnt eno"><U><B>Random shit that bothers me but isnt enough to give its own page</b></U></A><B>   |   </b><A HREF="id35.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Blind Luck"><U><B>Blind  Luck</b></U></A><B>   |   </b><A HREF="id33.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Dictionary o Fun"><U><B>Dictionary o Fun</b></U></A><B>   |   </b><A HREF="id34.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Smelly Eddie...the Saga continues"><U><B>Smelly Eddie...the Saga continues</b></U></A><B>   |   </b><A HREF="id17.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Sport Utility Vehicles......"><U><B>Sport Utility Vehicles......</b></U></A><B>   |   </b><A HREF="id18.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Stupid People have a purpose...."><U><B>Stupid People have a purpose....</b></U></A><B>   |   </b><A HREF="id23.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE=" Razor scooters, Cell phones,and pop cul"><U><B> Razor scooters, Cell phones,and pop culture......</b></U></A><B>   |   </b><A HREF="id19.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Sunday Morning Comics......"><U><B>Sunday Morning Comics......</b></U></A><B>   |   </b><A HREF="id20.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Kroger Rocks My Face"><U><B>Kroger Rocks My Face</b></U></A><B>   |   </b><A HREF="id28.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The buffer seat"><U><B>The "buffer seat"</b></U></A><B>   |   </b><A HREF="id27.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Ga Tech Physics and why it sucks"><U><B>Ga Tech Physics and why it sucks</b></U></A><B>   |   </b><B>Smelly Eddie and the room of "whores"</b><B>   |   </b><A HREF="id29.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Forndogg"><U><B>Forn-dogg</b></U></A><B>   |   </b><A HREF="id30.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Hall of Fame"><U><B>Hall of Fame</b></U></A><B>   |   </b><A HREF="id31.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Hall of Shame"><U><B>Hall of Shame</b></U></A><B>   |   </b><A HREF="id21.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Cool shit you should check out"><U><B>Cool shit you should check out</b></U></A><B>   |   </b><A HREF="id24.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Choice movies and tunes"><U><B>Choice movies and tunes</b></U></A><B>   |   </b><A HREF="id22.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Random Pictures"><U><B>Random Pictures</b></U></A><B>   |   </b><A HREF="id25.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Contact Me"><U><B>Contact Me</b></U></A></div> <div> </div> </td> </tr><tr> <td valign="top" width=210 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> Smelly Eddie and the room of "whores"</div> <bR> <div> <B>oh yeah. the kids across the hall</b></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>I am the  loud smelly kids in room 346</b></div> </td> <td valign="top" height=390 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div>   I've been recieving a little pressure from "the man" to get this page up and running ASAP. I was trying to wait until i could secure a few pics of the turd mongers across the hall so you all could more appreciate what im ranting about, but here it goes, a little prematurely, and without pics, for now.</div> <bR> <div> At the present, I am calling  the glorious Glenn hall dorm complex at the Georgia Institute of Technology in lovely Atlanta Ga my home away from home for this, the first installment of Ryan's college experience. All in all, the accomodations arent too bad. The bathrooms are pretty well and frquently cleaned, the room isnt spacious by any means, but it works, the kids in the hall (random Comedy Central sketch show reference) are cool, and  the R.A. type person, Paul, despite his child molesting tendencies, is a pretty cool guy. Despite the mass quantity of stairs that must be scaled whenever desireing entrance to my humble abode and the never-working-except-to-spew-wack-ass-AC-fluid-all-over-the-floor Heater.AC unit, I didnt really have any complaints. That is, until about the first week of school when I first started to notice the kids across the hall. A greasy, portly young lad hailing orignally from Russia and having made an appearance on teen Jeopardy, one Eddie Kunkes, along with his doofy-haircutted companion/roommate Pat were the occupants of Glenn room 346, directly across the hall. I will also say that there are two other individuals residing in the back room of said dormatory location. I'm pretty sure these two dont have much to do with my cirrent rant and i have no beef with them. but i digress. It was about the first week of school that i first noticed our good frined Edro and his companion Pat screaming profanities at each other, despite only being a few feet away from each other. Now this isnt really argument stlye yelling im talking about here, more or less just "listen to how loudly i can swear" type yelling. So I let it slide the constant obnoxious yelling go for first few weeks. I figured hey, maybe mommy and daddy didnt let them swear at hoome, so now theyre just getting it all out and taking it to the extreme. But no, here it is March, more than 6 months since moving in, and the screaming is still in full force, if not worse than before. What's even more irritating ids the content of said yelling never, and i mean never, changes. To get a feel for whates going on here I suggest you follow the following procedure. 1) find a friend and a tape recorder 2) muster up your most irritating and loud voice possible, and scream back and forth between the two of you while recording. but wait, not just any profanities, you are only allowed to use the words "Bitch," "Whore," "Ho," and anyvariations of the aforementioned words using "Your mom." you might try, "bitch" "you moms a bitch" "shut up ho" "whore" "you moms a whore" or any other variations. Hey, go to town. 3)Having made this recording, play thet ape on your home stereo, the volume cranked all the way up needless to say, and loop the tape for approximately 6 months. Now I know what youre thinking....hey man, i gotta sleep and stuff and this tape is getting pretty irritating. EXACTLY. These little douche-bags dont know when to quit. Im trying to sleep at like 3 am, a faily resonable time to be sleeping mind you,  and through three (yes three) closed doors, I can still not escape the obnoxious yellings of Edro and Pat. damn the man. W'eve tried everything short of actually going over there and talking to them reasonably (i'll  explain why this has yet to be done shortly) to get them to shut up. We've tried  screaming back and forth with absurd comments hoping that they will notice and realize how ridiculous they sound and tone it down. I even try the occasional " holy living shit!! shut the fuck up!! There is no need to talk that loud when you are three feet away from each other" outburst. One time i evne went so far as to type up a kindly worded leter and post it on their door (I will include said letter at the bottom of this rant) All to no avail sadly enough. Now you may be wondering why we just dont go over there and ask them to take it down a notch or 12. Therein lies the other fantastic aspect of Ediie and Pat, and the roots for the nickname "Smelly Eddie." As youve probably guessed, these kids arent too fond of the ol showers here in Glenn hall apparently and im pretty sure i can count on one hand the number of times Ive seen Eddie heading down to clean himself up. In short. these kids, and their room, smell like deep fried ass. The smell is usually very evident upon cresting the stairs and entering the hall way. It is magnified even more if they leave their door open. holy god it smells. holy god these kids are loud. Somebody pelase kill me. or kill them, yeah, that sounds a little better. anyways so the screaming and the smelling goes on and on. Eventually Im pretty sure Im going to have to go over there and break a few glass bottles over their heads in a last ditch effort to get them to shut up and shower. Ill tyr to get some pictures of these prim examples of humanity up here shortly so you can better appreciate them and their ungoldy levels of irritating. Below is the letter we sent them giving them a list of alternate words to use instead of bitch, ho, and whore, as well as asking them to work on their "inside voices"  enjoy.</div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> To the residents of Room 346,</div> <bR> <div>      The following is a list of synonyms for the words “Bitch”, “Ho,” and “Whore,” which you seem to overuse to an irritating extent. Just a few ideas…..</div> <div> <B>libertine; voluptuary, rake, debauchee, loose fish, rip, rakehell, fast man; intrigant, gallant, seducer, fornicator, lecher, satyr, goat, whoremonger, paillard, adulterer, gay deceiver, Lothario, Don Juan, Bluebeard; chartered libertine. adultress, advoutress, courtesan, prostitute, strumpet, harlot, whore, punk, fille de joie; woman, woman of the town; streetwalker, Cyprian, miss, piece; frail sisterhood; demirep, wench, trollop, trull, baggage, hussy, drab, bitch, jade, skit, rig, quean, mopsy, slut, minx, harridan; unfortunate, unfortunate female, unfortunate woman; woman of easy virtue (unchaste),  wanton, fornicatress; Jezebel, Messalina, Delilah, Thais, Phryne, Aspasia, Lais, lorette, cocotte, petite dame, grisette; demimonde; chippy [U.S.]; sapphist; spiritual wife; white slave. concubine, mistress, doxy, chere amie, bona roba,  pimp; pander, pandar; bawd, conciliatrix, procuress, mackerel, wittol</b></div> <div> You might even try such catchy phrases as “cunt rag,” “douche bag,”  “ass rammer,” “chicken fucker,” or even “Ass fuck”.  You may even try speaking at a normal volume, some thing I like to call, your “inside voice.” This means that you do not have to yell in order to make your intentions known to someone less than three feet away. A normal, quieter voice can be just as effective when trying to insult your roommates, or their mothers. Thank you, and good luck</div> <div>                               -  A Concerned party</div> <bR> <bR> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>